Be with me in rockland

Still discovering, perhaps learning, but in any case living.

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  1. astrology-gifs:

Leo & Virgo - Brothers

me (on the left) and the brother I wish I had that is down for all the strangeness that I exude 

    astrology-gifs:

    Leo & Virgo - Brothers

    me (on the left) and the brother I wish I had that is down for all the strangeness that I exude 

  2. During southern california’s annual drought season, I get my rain through Miyazaki’s films and his lovely stylized depiction of it. Okay, I have to say, I think that’s about the 10th time I’ve had to google search his name for a reference. The search always begins with aimless attempts at spelling out slightly similar Japanese surnames. Higasiki. no. Tiyasuki, damn. Suzuki. That’s the car company Ryan. Nagasaki… dumbass. Eventually I just search “Spirited Away director.” It’s not being racist ya’ll. I’m just horrible at celebrity names. No, really. I always feel so helpless when I’m desperately trying to remember the name of the beautiful man in all those pointless dance movies, uhm—Step Up—who’s literally carved from stone. Channing Tatum, that’s the one. No, Miyasaki just needs a nickname so I don’t idiotically google search it every time. Miya? Mimi? Oh, oh! How about a play on phonetics: Me-a-sucky. Sexual and kiddish. There you go Mr. Miyasaki. Your name will never be forgotten by this young, ignorant, American millennial. 

    (Source: black-cats-piano)

  3. The Irony of Work

    While working at the thrift store this morning at 6 A.M. (I know) I thought of all the little interesting observations that would make a good read as a blog. From the bizarre responses I get from saying “excuse me” when I have a gigantic mound of clothes in my hand to the zombie-like behavior when customers pile up on one another outside at the crack of dawn, anxiously peering into the store’s front windows, thirsty for the minute they could rampantly bargain shop, I have much to tell. 

    But the irony of it all, is that the very thing I want to write about makes me so exhausted and languid at the end of the day, making it almost impossible to even open a new blog when finally home. So to be continued readers. But even more ironic is that now I’m writing about not being able to write and here I am, writing away. I’m such a drama queen. 

  4. So I go to college in the same town, nbd. I have to admit I kind of like her now. 
caitlynallysepenke:

Photographed in Red Hook, NY, Katy Perry lands her first Vogue Cover wearing a full length floral and lace dress designed by Valentino and shot by Annie Leibovitz. 
So I go to college in the same town, nbd. I have to admit I kind of like her now. 
caitlynallysepenke:

Photographed in Red Hook, NY, Katy Perry lands her first Vogue Cover wearing a full length floral and lace dress designed by Valentino and shot by Annie Leibovitz. 
    High Resolution

    So I go to college in the same town, nbd. I have to admit I kind of like her now. 

    caitlynallysepenke:

    Photographed in Red Hook, NY, Katy Perry lands her first Vogue Cover wearing a full length floral and lace dress designed by Valentino and shot by Annie Leibovitz. 

  5. The Evolution of the Writer

    When I look back on my writing, sometimes I can’t help but feel really impressed by it. Where did that come from? How did I develop that style? But this pride quickly turns into anxiety at the possibility that I’ve lost a bit of more voice these past couple of years. The daunting question begins to surface: Has my writing gotten worse? What an absurd possibility, right?

    No, that’s not right. The idea that ones writing should be constantly improving is merely feeding the illusion of linearity. Things don’t always have to be moving forward, Ryan. We age, yes. Our age moves in a linear pattern, sure. But that doesn’t mean we as humans should be expected to grow in this same, simplistic manner. After all, age is just a representation, a social construction, merely used to put us align with other social constructions like work, and school, and dating, and sex. Without these other things, age would be pointless, along with its linear movement. 

    So don’t fret it. i begin to tell myself. Just because our age grows larger and larger, doesn’t mean we have to as a person. I don’t have to be a greater writer now than I was two years ago. More specifically, I shouldn’t put pressure on myself to have a more refined style and technique when it comes to my writing. My 21 years of age doesn’t mean I have to compare myself to others of the same age, setting my age as a marker of maturity. That’s arbitrary. Instead, I’ll take my 21 years as the 21 years of experience I have acquired. Whether or not I am moving upward, I am nevertheless gaining more experiences, both good and bad. Linearity implies constant improvement; It focuses on the positives. Instead, I like to think that I grow in experience. I go through the highs and lows with pride, and its these positive and negative experiences that will be reflected in my writing. Why move up when I can be moving around? There will be a day when I can reflect on all the triumphs in my life. But even when that comes, I’ll still have plenty of pitfalls to encounter. Call it pessimistic. But to me, knowing that we don’t always have to be growing to reach this impossible idea of perfection is quite comforting. Besides, the best writers are the ones that are very, very far from perfection. 

  6. massurban:

The Atlantic Cities: 
"5 Principles for Building Greener, Healthier Cities
Kaid Benfield. Jan 13, 2014
I like to consider “people habitat” – the realm of places that humans build and inhabit – as having an ecology of its own, roughly analogous to that of natural wildlife habitat. Nature works best when it is in balance and, like the natural environment when operating at its best, the built environment created by us humans should achieve harmony among its various parts and with the larger world upon which it depends. But, while the ecology of the natural world – at least as usually studied – concerns itself primarily with the interdependence and health of non-human species, the ecology of people habitat concerns itself also with our relationships as humans to each other, and with the health of communities that support those relationships and allow us to flourish alongside and within nature. 
I believe we humans have an opportunity and a duty to make our habitat work both for us as people and for the sustainable health of the planet writ large. Indeed, if our solutions do not work for people, they will never work for the planet.”
Photo: Flick user Payton Chung.

    massurban:

    The Atlantic Cities: 

    "5 Principles for Building Greener, Healthier Cities

    Kaid Benfield. Jan 13, 2014

    I like to consider “people habitat” – the realm of places that humans build and inhabit – as having an ecology of its own, roughly analogous to that of natural wildlife habitat. Nature works best when it is in balance and, like the natural environment when operating at its best, the built environment created by us humans should achieve harmony among its various parts and with the larger world upon which it depends. But, while the ecology of the natural world – at least as usually studied – concerns itself primarily with the interdependence and health of non-human species, the ecology of people habitat concerns itself also with our relationships as humans to each other, and with the health of communities that support those relationships and allow us to flourish alongside and within nature. 

    I believe we humans have an opportunity and a duty to make our habitat work both for us as people and for the sustainable health of the planet writ large. Indeed, if our solutions do not work for people, they will never work for the planet.”

    Photo: Flick user Payton Chung.

  7. think im going to start daily shipping. can’t. stop. looking at this cuteness. like ugh. 

    (Source: stilinskiever, via hldncaufld)

  8. overheardatbard:

Blithewood Mansion in the Fall. 
(Source: Nick Scribner on Flickr)

holy shit fall come back. better yet, Bard come back. overheardatbard:

Blithewood Mansion in the Fall. 
(Source: Nick Scribner on Flickr)

holy shit fall come back. better yet, Bard come back.
    High Resolution

    overheardatbard:

    Blithewood Mansion in the Fall. 

    (Source: Nick Scribner on Flickr)

    holy shit fall come back. better yet, Bard come back.

  9. The Start of Nothing Special

    So I think I’ll stop using Tumblr solely for porn and actually start writing again. I don’t even care if anyone hears me or not. I think I just need to hear the echo to know I’m here, and not completely lost. I need the reverberation of my own voice to remind me I haven’t faded into the superficial existence of others. I’m here. Ryan, you’re here. You at least exist in your words.

  10. I’m so tired

    I NEED TO BE PRODUCTIVE, pronto. But I can’s stop thinking about all the wrong things. Maybe If I try writing in general, and unravel some knots up there, because, everything is quite twisted.

    I’m in the Stage of the Chameleon, taking on any pigment that allows me to be a part of society. But I’m more of a fierce chameleon, because I’m not looking for security; I just want to feel everything.

  11. klasikhgatsby:

    Unabashedly Prep loves Take Ivy

    and an unabashedly cutie at that! I saw this book at urban and I could not. put. it. down.

  12. carlos-santana:

this was right before we entered the trail of mist in Yosemite. I will never forget this day with my best friends. nature….you fucking rule. 


I need to like go to yo-se-mite, ey

    carlos-santana:

    this was right before we entered the trail of mist in Yosemite. I will never forget this day with my best friends. nature….you fucking rule. 

    I need to like go to yo-se-mite, ey

  13. devoted my life to thrifting, not splurging

    Yesterday, I held off buying these $45 Levis (without tax). I went into Savers today and bought TWO pairs jeans for $6, AND they fit just as nice. No, they don’t have the trustworthy name that Levis aesthetically advertises but jeans are jeans, man. As long as they fit well and don’t rip, the quality of the name don’t bother me none. Besides, I’m being environmentally conscious and helping fund programs by Hope Services (slightly, but still more than I would have if I bought those Levis from Macy’s). Macy’s, pff. Tomorrow, I’m taking on Buffalo Exchange.

  14. Because the end is always the beginning

    I need to start further pursuing my passions. This quarter is going to be the start I should have initiated a very long time ago. I think I just needed to build confidence to finally be able to explore the interests that have been on hiatus. I’m going to treat the beginning of my third year of college like I should have my 1st year, without doubts and reluctancy. GO FOR IT, Ryan. 

    I know I go through this wave of motivation at the start of every new year, but this time it’s different. My goals are more clearly laid out; I’m much more confident in so many aspects of myself; and I have an amazing putah boyfriend who I connect with so authentically and who can hold my hand as I trek through these new, exciting adventures. 

  15. Coffee’s Lullaby

    I forgot how crazy (including moody and emotional) too much coffee makes me-especially at 2 in the morning. After the hyper, giddy phase, once the caffeine seeps deeper into my mind, it starts to rapidly spin the reels within them-the reels of my memories and feelings. FAST FORWARD. X2. X4. X6. X8. The unmerciful images on screen move faster and faster, sharp lines and piercing colors flying everywhere along with alarming crescendos, until it all becomes an overwhelming, consuming blur. That’s when I close my eyes and pray that sleep will hit STOP.